I think the most relevant thing you say is people are serial daters. Most people I meet online, especially the hot ones, are some of the most insecure people I've met Makes em feel better. I just want to meet a girl I could be friends with before I start dating her. It is nice to get a male and female perspective on their expereiences.
I never thought I would be trying online dating at my age over I am from the old school world of dating and have found online dating to be awkward and uncomfortable, not a fun way to meet people.
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I put up a direct, honest profile, stating what I was looking for on more than one different site. It has been extremely hard to find honest, genuine guys locally. I get turned off by guys calling me gorgeous, not saying more than hi, instead of simply asking questions to let me know that they are seriously interested in getting to know me.
When a guy does write me to say something more than "Hi," I have found out that a lot of guys have had their own drama with women. I hear the same thing over and over: Once you finally find someone who is looking for the same kind of relationship as yourself, you find you are both very skeptical of each other. I have only been able to go on a hand full of meet and greets only to find no connection.
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So, I too am trying to find outside interests to get away from the social media and hopefully, find the kind of relationship I am looking for. Trying to remain hopeful and realistic. I also do not want to settle, as that is unhealthy, dishonest and not fair to both parties. I wish everyone the best of luck in searching for that special guy or lady!
Since I've never been married, outside of a few long term relationships, I've been dating offline and online for a long time. They get hundreds of emails, and a lady you may have met at the gym who is a 5, thinks she's a solid 8 online.
In the last year alone, I've met 4 women who said they were divorced but were really separated all with really unique stories as to why their divorce wasn't final. Turns out, 3 of those 4 had family violence felonies pending against them! The 4th, I should have got up and walked out after she started talking. Not only did she lie about the little things on her profile, like having a degree, her occupation, and marital status, but she was a solid 2 compared to her pictures. What did all the women I've met online have in common, a solid relationship with their phone.
Now I call them out on the phone issue and I don't care what they think of me. If you can't take 30 minutes or an hour and put your phone in your purse or leave it in your car like I do, then stay at home browsing, FB, POF, Match, Instagram, or whatever else is the in app. I think you're giving women far too much credit. Granted there are guys out there that are creeps and they probably never leave the house and use somebody else's pictures, but I'm willing to bet they're few and far between.
I see no reason that a decent looking woman has to resort to online dating , unless she is super busy which i beleive is a great alternative for a busy person.. Essentially playing the role of the opposite equivalents of their male trolls , jerks and perverts You know what I'm a nice guy who's romantic, successful, and respectful and I get passed by and ghosted once things start to get real.
I think women like the idea of a relationship but have horribly overblown expectations. The three things I keep coming across are women who have no time to commit, just broke up recently and shouldn't be dating or they think far too highly of their prospects. Close your eyes picture the perfect guy now open them. If you were that perfect guy would you settle for you? Having tried internet dating and meetup, I personally prefer "live and in person" approach to finding a match. Here is a point by point breakdown of the two different approaches. Dating sites -spend a lot of time setting up a profile which you hope will convey my personality and attract interesting guys -answer some multiple choice questions with four answers, none of which actually work for me really, I have to choose between a.
I just want sex b. I'm okay with sex on the second date c. I always wait for the third date before having sex d. I'm a complete prude who will never ever ever have sex.? Hey, since I'm definitely not comfortable with the whole casual sex thing, I guess I must be a complete prude.
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Now I'm feeling really great about myself! Okay, I'm interested in guys within a km radius, between , looking for a relationship, between , doesn't smoke, between , is single, between Yeah, I got a bunch of "hey sexy! Look through some more profiles, send a few more messages. Show up, and the evening starts off really nice This guy doesn't seem to get it that I'm not that into hearing ghost story after ghost story. Okay, now he's trying to talk me into going to some dark secluded area on a ghost hunt What female in her right mind goes to a dark, secluded area with a guy she's just met?
The whole internet dating experience is highly unpleasant. Meetup groups -create a profile, upload one picture, answer a few questions about interests, and I'm good to go -okay, let's see what meet ups are happening in my area. Join meet ups -pick an event that works with my schedule, show up for an evening of board games at a pub -have a nice meal out, play some fun games, meet some nice people.
Hey, I didn't meet the love of my life, but at least I had some fun, right? Meet a nice guy, exchange emails Plus, meeting people in person just feels more natural. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites; lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect.
Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off. I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined. It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone.
After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance. Nature didn't takes it's course as it did over That just doesn't work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men.
But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself. Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can't control to who she is attracted to.
Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media. I've been on Plenty of fish, okCupid, and Zoosk since November. It is now April. On PoF, I got lots of views, but the only message was an offer to sell me drugs. On okCupid, I didn't even get but a few views, and no messages at all.
On Zoosk, I got lots of views and lots of winks, but only from guys out of the state, and again, no messages. On Zoosk and PoF, I even tried messaging guys first, but no responses. Almost all of friends married guys they met on these sites, but I have no idea how they did it. It's like you're describing my experience on the dating sites. I sit down, think of witty things to write to guys, and I get nothing back. One evening, I read like 10 profiles, made custom messages that I felt were well thought out.
This is on both OKCupid and Match. I do have one guy on OkCupid though who likes to send me dick pics I've met my girlfriend on a dating site.
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But I've read literally hundreds of profiles, contacted dozens of women, went to a dozen of a really bad dates before I've found someone. The problem is you're messaging guys out of your league. Close your eyes and think of the perfect guy now open them. Would you as that perfect guy settle for you? I'm not messaging guys out of my league. I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around.
Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought.